www.myspace.com/cotton_candy86
babygirljen86@yahoo.com
The Past will never be forgotten, I will always look back on this Journal
Jen
Jen
Jen
Since Ive had my car, Ive been spending time over Dustins and then going to work. Ive went over Amandas and said hi to her too. Right now since I just woke up the past 2 days seem to be all unworth it. Dustin has been trying to get with me, weve been hanging out and chilling. Yestarday, one of his friends come over and said he was bring sam (keep in mind that sam knew the whole time that we got together) I got up picked my keys up and said I wasnt dealing with the drama, or the other females, then walked outside. Dustin went out side with me. I stood there and I was going to leave. He set there and promised something like "the things between me and sam or over, even if she does come over nothing will happen, i wouldnt go behind ur back" I go to work sometime later. Work went okay. What do ya know, when I call, dustins sister says hes out side with her, kissing and hugging on her. He came inside to answer the phone (after his sister screaming at him) and he was like sorry sorry it wasnt done on purpose, we have history, blah blah blah. I still wanna be with you, I have started to care about you. Then when I asked him what happens next time Sam comes over, he said he didnt know. Then after that it was I need time to think, I need time to think. Like I do with everyone, I say that ur heart never has time to think, you always know were ur heart is, so tell me where is it? He couldnt answer me, or really I dont think he wanted to answer me. I told himt hat we wouldnt be talking about more, that I wasnt going to get played like that to say goodbye. Just like Brent he wouldnt say goodbye. Well his phone hung up. I havent called back since. I did call Sam and say Thank You for fucking maybe something good up. She tried to be all nice. She knew what she was doing. She knew if she went over there and said what he needed to hear, that he would be there for her. What gets me the most is the first day I talked to Dustin, I asked if him and Sam were ever getting back together. Then I asked Sam. Both of them said I had nothing to worrie about. Well once again, Im the one that gets fucked over. This and alot of other times, isnt my fault. I cant be there 24/7, I had to work so I guess he made his disusion. It just all disapointing ya know. I promised my self I wasnt going to even talk to anyone. I was being single. I didnt ask to talk to Dustin, Dustin IMED me. So look I took it as maybe this is meant to happen (since I wasnt realyl looking for it.) I guess it wasnt. I feel so shitty right now. I dont know why. I know I shouldnt though b.c I didnt do anything. Well I think Im going to end this.
MMFCL
Jen
K I have alot to say. First off
IM GETTING A CAR
All on my own too, Ive saved for a good while now and finaly I have found something. I guess doing it all on your own does feel really good.
2ND
My mom is the shit. Since my parents are seprated, my dad has a work truck, and my moms car is under her husband. Since Im not 18 ALOT of INSURANCE companys dont want to carry you. Well statefarm said they would but charging $160 for just some cheap shit. My mom went to all state (i think) and talked them to death. Keep telling them she couldnt put it under her husbands name intill they search around to find me something. comes to find out MY PLAN IS CHEAPER
Its not alot of coveage but I only got to pay $67 a month. Thats alot better then $160
3rd
Just wanted to give a shout out to Amanda. My ass is got to come see u some times next week. Miss talking to ya
4th
Ill be putting some pics of my car up on here shortly
5th
I finaly talked to dustin again. He wasnt in cell phone rang last night, so he said thats reason why he didnt call. I dont know if I believe that or not. Hes spouse to be calling back, to let me know if he can get a ride home were we can chill. I dont know if that will happen ether.
I guess i doubt people so much, because it has all happen to me before
mmfcl
Jen
- Mood:
excited
Well I know I havent posted in awhile. The reason being is that, 1 my computer broke and 2 I have been under alot of stress. Brent and I just didnt make it. There has been alot of fighting since I ended it. Him starting shit and saying things that dont need to be said. I wish I wouldve had a computer when it was broken were everyone would understand what I meant. Right now Im to the point that Ive blocked him. I dont really wanna hear his voice and I want to be left alone. He has treated me like shit for the very last time. I will not be walked on. K so that is over with. I dont think Ill be talking about him anymore. I know it doesnt really say how everything went down. I would just rather forget all this. SO... I am trying to get someone to go look at this 1997 Hyundai with me. It looks really good. My self, Im just taking this break from all the drama, starting to breath a little better these past 2 days. Last night I went to the movies with this dude named Dustin. Just to meet him. I know by not really even huging him he mustive thought that I wasnt into him or anything, but everyone has to see what I just put up with and went through. I need a dude that is willing to be friends, before being with me. I have passed my time the past 3 days talking to everyone on here. Pat is about to leave for bootcamp, and right now pat isnt too happy with me ether. I can say im a blunt person, and sometimes ppl dont wanna hear the truth. I guess thats how it goes. So ... I dont really wanna go into detail about that ether. I missed the Dark Lotus concert. I was pissed, b.c I couldnt find a ride. Made me feel like I dont really have friends, and I guess I dont. I guess its not the end of the world. It stung like 2 days after the fact but now its like whatever. I think its funny how I could rant and rant on this journal and 2 days later be like ohh that wasnt a big deal, whatever. How in the moment things that matter shouldnt matter. I guess thats how life works. I really cant wait to get my car. I dont wanna go everywhere, but I wanna see everyone I havent seen atleast once. And then I want to start going to the fellowship meet ups. Well anyways I dont have much to say right now. So I guess I will update, whenever. MMFCL <
Jen
Ohh and anit this cool... We had to delete everything off of or computer, so I cant use my client and I have to go through the website to post. I just found a way to insert the pic, then resize it, since on my client u can only insert the pic. And I just found a way to change the color of my font. This is neat. I wish my client did this.
- Mood:
artistic
Well since mom is having her 30 min talk with William on the phone at this moment. I just woke up and I can't get online. So I figured I would type something up to put into my journal. Mom right now is really upset because, she has had a lawyer for a long time and has been trying to get the sell of the house going. Now out of no where Donna got this layer and both cases have to be seen at the same time. Witch I don't get the bad part (but some how this is bad) because I'm like go ahead get a layer, mom we know she's doing wrong so let the judge see that. I think a judge will see the things she is doing. What I don't know is if my mother is strong enough to stand up to Donna. I think Donna lawyer has mom scared. Then Donna is trying to get her lawyer fees paid for through us. (The estate I mean) but then mom has to pay her own, then some of Donnas, then all the paper work fees because mom was the first to sue. It's really not fair to mom, I think if mom gets strong and stand up and don't break down every 10 min. that a judge will see that. I haven't really talked to mom about all this because mom and I have been fighting off and on and really don't talk much anymore. We say hi, how's your day, but that's about it. I knew it would be like that, I can't worry about her anymore. I don't want to fight or anything so I'm just going to let her be. In my case, when I am 18 and she tells me to go she will see how backwards she has always been to me and how all this is fucked up. I haven't really said anything in my journal about mom and me fighting. So I know everyone is like wow were did all this come from. It's been happening. It don't matter how much I stay out of trouble or how much I do what I spouse to do. I can't make mom care. So I see that she don't (or that she just worried about William more) so I figure hey how can I change that. I can't and I'm not even going to try. Besides that I didn't do much yesterday at all. I just chilled around the house. I have to go to work in a little bit, Brent is coming to get me at 4:30, well he promised that he would. Mom said she had to do something, so if he don't damn if I'm not going to be pissed. I didn't get back with him for the same things to happen, so I guess today is a big step to see if he is going to do what he says. I seen him Monday, had a pretty good day. We chilled around his house, most the time outside because it was so pretty. I think Brent and I have to have work and effort. It can work this time but yes it's going to take a lot of talking. Things right now are looking good, and yes I should say that's are going t stay good, but I don't know. I can't tell you what tomorrow brings. Hopefully our relationship will get even stronger and we both will stay happy. I have to learn to keep and positive attitude. Well I'm going to go see if mom is done of the phone where I can send this. Much love to everyone reading this. You all need to talk to me or call me and be in my life besides just reading my journal LMAO. I will post some other time, when I get the chance don't you all just love all my Fairies I be adding to my pages.
- Mood:
groggy
Well I know I haven't updated in so long. I haven't set down and really said how I feel, even all the post before were conversions are not really me posting. I guess things happen so fast. Today I have done nothing but chill and talk on the computer. For some reason talking on here wasn't something I thought about doing. I don't know why it's like that now. I really have no clue. This has been a way for me to keep everyone up to speed with my life. I think it might be that. Now days, I have be able to cope more with my feelings. It doesn't really get out of control. Well sometimes it does. Like the other night when I was crying because Brent didn't see me. I know this is the times were I should get up on here and post. I know this because that's what pulled me throw so many times before. I guess I'm letting my feelings get to me, when I have them, makes me not want to do anything at all. Like hiding in this room and never talking to anyone. Also I guess since it's not ALL the time being sad. I feel like I'm handling things better but in reality. I'm not sad all the time, but when I do get sad I get more depressed then ever before. I don't know what has changed. I know I need to make my self get up on this journal and post. Like at the start of this post. I just started typing because Brent's getting food, so I can't talk to him on the phone, and Stacey is online so I can't get online to talk to anyone. So I just decided to type. Then I look back and look I've already typed so much. It's like damn; maybe I do have a lot to say and just don't see it. So let me talk about the things that are going on in my life. Family life inst as good as I want it. I feel unwanted and like I have no home. Since this is really the only thing that bothering me the past 2 days. I really want to talk about some positive instead of negative. Sorry if that's not going into details about all that. The positive, Brent and I are working things out. Yea, Yea I said I would never let him back into my life. I have though. Things seem to be going good. The things that use to make up fight we seem to be able to say stop breath and think. The thing with me and Brent is that both of us can get mad at say things that don't need to be said. I spent yesterday with him. We didn't do much but it was a nice day and I really did enjoy my self. I don't want to get carried away and say ohh everything is great. Right now things are good, but I just don't know how long that will be. Brent and I have a past of messing things up. So I guess all I can say about that right now is, we will see. Work is work, really nothing to talk about there. I have been on the fellowship of juggalos site just about everyday posting and reading. I have talked to some really cool people. Jason has invited me to a meeting but I don't want to go by my self. I might just have to do that though. I have to make friends outside of Brent, ya know. Well anyways Stacey just signed offline so I will update later. I love everyone that reads this. It means ya care.
- Mood: calm
I'm trying to think I think this convo started right were my last post stoped. I sent him them lyrics and then we started talking. this is all of the convo I have right now...
Nugggster2003 [2:37 PM]: I'm just talknig to you jenni
Libragoddess5 [2:37 PM]: and when I talk brent it has meaning
Libragoddess5 [2:37 PM]: I don't have usless convasations
Nugggster2003 [2:38 PM]: yeah
Libragoddess5 [2:38 PM]: I don't don't get ya
Libragoddess5 [2:38 PM]: u like my song I sent ya
Nugggster2003 [2:39 PM]: yes pod is good
Nugggster2003 [2:39 PM]: why bring scooby into it though
Nugggster2003 [2:39 PM]: will you
Libragoddess5 [2:39 PM]: b.c I cant send ya emails so I have to get people to forward it
Nugggster2003 [2:39 PM]: will you love me
Nugggster2003 [2:39 PM]: toooomorrrrrrrrooooooow
Libragoddess5 [2:39 PM]: I have been brent .. u just don't love me
Nugggster2003 [2:40 PM]: why cant u send me emails
Libragoddess5 [2:40 PM]: that's the fifferenst
Libragoddess5 [2:40 PM]: b.c u have my blocked from sending u emails
Nugggster2003 [2:40 PM]: I do????
Libragoddess5 [2:40 PM]: yea its been like that
Nugggster2003 [2:40 PM]: hmmmm hold on
Libragoddess5 [2:40 PM]: that's why that day u were emailing me over and overa gain I couldn't send them back
Nugggster2003 [2:41 PM]: there fixed jenni
Nugggster2003 [2:41 PM]: try now I think I fixed it
Libragoddess5 [2:41 PM]: I don't have a reason at this moemtn to email u
Nugggster2003 [2:41 PM]: ok then brb k
Libragoddess5 [2:41 PM]: brent why do u do this to me?
Nugggster2003 [2:42 PM]: will you love me tooomorrow
Nugggster2003 [2:42 PM]: will u will u love me
Libragoddess5 [2:42 PM]: its not be that needs to answer them questions brent
Libragoddess5 [2:42 PM]: them questions were meant for u
Nugggster2003 [2:43 PM]: yeah I always gots love fer jenny
Libragoddess5 [2:43 PM]: having love and loving is 2 different things
Nugggster2003 [2:43 PM]: yeah
Libragoddess5 [2:43 PM]: u can have love all u want .. but showing love and being in love .. is way way different
Nugggster2003 [2:44 PM]: true that
Libragoddess5 [2:44 PM]: when they say will you love me tomorrow its like .. are u going to be there etommorow ... and I don't even know why I asked I already see ur not...b.c ur not even here for me today
Nugggster2003 [2:45 PM]: I'm here right now jenni
Libragoddess5 [2:45 PM]: no ur not brent
Nugggster2003 [2:45 PM]: ytes I m
Libragoddess5 [2:45 PM]: being on the computer .. were u can say unfeeling and hurtful things .. isn't being here for me
Nugggster2003 [2:47 PM]: I'm not being hurtful jenni
Libragoddess5 [2:47 PM]: brent why when I tell u this hurts and that I'm tired of crying do u still email me and I'm me?
Libragoddess5 [2:47 PM]: I mean why do it
Nugggster2003 [2:48 PM]: cuz I wanna talk to you jenni
Libragoddess5 [2:48 PM]: why stress over something that anit changing .. brent ur not coming back .. u don't love me .. and ur over me ... I already know that I'm dealing with it .. but I just don't get why u email and I'm me
Libragoddess5 [2:48 PM]: why do u want to talk to me?
Nugggster2003 [2:48 PM]: cuz I like talking to yuo still
Libragoddess5 [2:48 PM]: why?
Nugggster2003 [2:48 PM]: I dunno I just do
Libragoddess5 [2:48 PM]: we don't talk brent .. u say mean things .. I start to cry and tell u to go to hell .. that's not talking brent
Nugggster2003 [2:49 PM]: we re talking right now jenni
Nugggster2003 [2:49 PM]: so did autumn look for easter eggs this morning?
Libragoddess5 [2:49 PM]: no but I'm telling u how I feel and u take it as a joke like I'm just talking .. brent its just not talking to me .. this is me this how I feel .. this is me dieing inside
Libragoddess5 [2:49 PM]: don't u get that
Nugggster2003 [2:50 PM]: so u wont talk to me jenni
Libragoddess5 [2:50 PM]: brent ive been talking .. ive been telling u how I feel over and over again I cry over this ... it don't change ... as much as I scream how I feel u don't care and I cant make u so why even say it anymore
Nugggster2003 [2:51 PM]: cuz jenni
Nugggster2003 [2:51 PM]: ure a sweetie
Libragoddess5 [2:51 PM]: u just don't understand .. and I'm tired brent .. really tired of trying to make u care and understand
Libragoddess5 [2:51 PM]: b.c the reality is u don't give a shit
Nugggster2003 [2:51 PM]: I caring jenni
Nugggster2003 [2:51 PM]: does give more than a shit
Libragoddess5 [2:51 PM]: u cant love me tomorrow .. when ya don't love me today ... that's what I meant by that song
Nugggster2003 [2:52 PM]: I do love ya today so I can love ya tomorrow
Libragoddess5 [2:52 PM]: brent when I tell u how I feel u make fun of me and call me names and shit .. that's not caring
Nugggster2003 [2:52 PM]: I'm not makingt fun of you jenni
Libragoddess5 [2:53 PM]: brent convo after convo we get off with u saying that u don't love me and hate me ... u cant say one thing then get me to believe it then turn around the next day and say the same
Libragoddess5 [2:53 PM]: it don't work like that
Nugggster2003 [2:54 PM]: I don't hate u jenni no matter how madd I get
Libragoddess5 [2:54 PM]: but u say u do
Libragoddess5 [2:54 PM]: and u say some fucked up things brent
Nugggster2003 [2:54 PM]: you doo too jenni
Libragoddess5 [2:55 PM]: no brent .. I have always been honest with u
Libragoddess5 [2:55 PM]: always
Nugggster2003 [2:55 PM]: so you doo hate me
Libragoddess5 [2:55 PM]: sometimes I want to .. I want to be able to hate you were this pain will go away
Libragoddess5 [2:55 PM]: but it anit
Nugggster2003 [2:55 PM]: sorry
Libragoddess5 [2:55 PM]: and I never ever said I did hate u
Nugggster2003 [2:56 PM]: ohhhhh
Libragoddess5 [2:56 PM]: even in us fighting I have stoad my ground about how I feel about u
Nugggster2003 [2:56 PM]: yeah
Libragoddess5 [2:56 PM]: and mom, stacey , everyone reads these convos and just says that ur being nice b.c u getting horny and want some pussy
Libragoddess5 [2:56 PM]: how am I spouse to feel brent
Nugggster2003 [2:57 PM]: I don't wasnyt no pussy
Nugggster2003 [2:58 PM]: lmfao
Libragoddess5 [2:58 PM]: then why do u want to tal tko me .. what is ur motive
Nugggster2003 [2:58 PM]: because I can and we used to date
Libragoddess5 [2:58 PM]: u don't talk to everyone that u use to date .. and that's no reason brent .. I want the REAL reason
Libragoddess5 [2:59 PM]: most the time the we use to date would be a reason not to talk
Libragoddess5 [2:59 PM]: and u say use to date like it was nothing brent u seemed like u wanted to be with me for a long time .. now its ohh we just use to date
Nugggster2003 [2:59 PM]: so I need more than one reason to talk to you
Libragoddess5 [2:59 PM]: yea u do
Nugggster2003 [2:59 PM]: ok then
Nugggster2003 [3:00 PM]: cuz I don't want pussy
Libragoddess5 [3:00 PM]: then that would be a reason not to talk to much
Nugggster2003 [3:00 PM]: lol hahaha
Libragoddess5 [3:01 PM]: that's still not a reason for u to tlak to me
Nugggster2003 [3:01 PM]: ok then I guess I don't have a reason to talk to you jenni
Libragoddess5 [3:01 PM]: then why do u
Nugggster2003 [3:02 PM]: still wonder how life is although I seem to know since u say I hurt u
Libragoddess5 [3:03 PM]: u already know how my life is .. b.c ive told u over and over .. and yes brent u have hurt me
Nugggster2003 [3:03 PM]: I'm gonna get my boy jj tattoed on my arm. a pic of his face on my bicep that would b sweet
Libragoddess5 [3:03 PM]: ur changing the subject brent
Nugggster2003 [3:04 PM]: I was just thinking about him is all
Libragoddess5 [3:04 PM]: truthfull I could care less about some tattoo ... that's my point brent .. ur just not thinking about me
Nugggster2003 [3:05 PM]: I am jenni I always will boo
Libragoddess5 [3:05 PM]: brent talk is cheap
Nugggster2003 [3:05 PM]: yeah it is isn't it
Libragoddess5 [3:05 PM]: yea
Libragoddess5 [3:05 PM]: and u don't seem to be action
at this moment I deleted the other part of the I'm ... it said something but were it picks up at is I copied and pasted were he wote a I'm saying he didn't love me and I asked him if he remembered it ....
Libragoddess5 [3:19 PM]: remember that
Nugggster2003 [3:20 PM]: shure doo
Nugggster2003 [3:20 PM]: telling sam that shane looks like pippen from lotr
Libragoddess5 [3:20 PM]: yea so do I ... I think that's the only time u have ever honest with me
Nugggster2003 [3:21 PM]: just like u think I cheated on you with sam and crystal and a lot of people
Libragoddess5 [3:21 PM]: she don't answer me anymore but I frankly don't give a shit .. I got 74 on my buddie list and anit worrieda bout her
Nugggster2003 [3:21 PM]: I cant get over that still. its not funny
Libragoddess5 [3:21 PM]: I was being honest brent ... I HAVE BEEN HONEST THE WHOLE TIME
Nugggster2003 [3:21 PM]: but its sad that yuou think so
Libragoddess5 [3:22 PM]: so imt elling u don't tell me u love me .. then tell me u don't a day later
Libragoddess5 [3:22 PM]: I don't wanna be feed ur bullshit brent
Libragoddess5 [3:22 PM]: I'm tired of the I cant make up my mind
Nugggster2003 [3:22 PM]: ok jenn
Libragoddess5 [3:22 PM]: u need to make up ur mind and let it be known and stick by it
Libragoddess5 [3:22 PM]: so make it up brent I would really like to know ?
Nugggster2003 [3:23 PM]: ok jenni what do you want me to tell you??
Libragoddess5 [3:23 PM]: Libragoddess5 [3:22 PM]: so imt elling u don't tell me u love me .. then tell me u don't a day later
Libragoddess5 [3:23 PM]: what one is it
Nugggster2003 [3:23 PM]: ok jenn
Nugggster2003 [3:23 PM]: I love you and I wont tell you I don't love you tomorrow
Libragoddess5 [3:24 PM]: then why have u been
Libragoddess5 [3:24 PM]: or are u just saying what u think I wanna hear?
Nugggster2003 [3:25 PM]: saying what I want
Libragoddess5 [3:26 PM]: then why have u been telling me this and then that?
Nugggster2003 [3:27 PM]: huh what?
Libragoddess5 [3:27 PM]: why have u told me that u don't love me and then told me that u do?
Nugggster2003 [3:28 PM]: anger gets the best of us jenni
Nugggster2003 [3:28 PM]: youu were right about that song schism and what it means its about a r4elaiotnship and love
Nugggster2003 [3:28 PM]: found the lyrics
Nugggster2003 [3:29 PM]: damn its about communication
Nugggster2003 [3:29 PM]: schism by tool on lateralus
Libragoddess5 [3:29 PM]: what song u talking about ... the song u were singing the last time u talked to me on the phone .. yea its about love lost and relationtships .. but what does that have to do with us
Nugggster2003 [3:29 PM]: Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
Nugggster2003 [3:30 PM]: Disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
Libragoddess5 [3:30 PM]: I know how the song goes brent
Nugggster2003 [3:30 PM]: hows that
Libragoddess5 [3:30 PM]: I can listen to a song and get its meaning ,... u don't
Nugggster2003 [3:30 PM]: I see
Libragoddess5 [3:34 PM]: ""know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away,Mildewed and smoldering. Fundamental differing.,Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion,Disintegrating as it goes testing our communication,The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so,We cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication
Libragoddess5 [3:35 PM]: ""I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down,No fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to,Point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.,To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication""
Nugggster2003 [3:35 PM]: yyyyeeeeeeewsssssssssssss
Nugggster2003 [3:35 PM]: great song bravo bravo
Libragoddess5 [3:36 PM]: I don't think uunderstand it though
Nugggster2003 [3:36 PM]: maybe I don't.
Libragoddess5 [3:37 PM]: brent at this moment stacy wants the computer... that song is way too much for me to think about rightnow ... if u want to finish talking to me then u can call me .. I'm tired of this aol shit
Nugggster2003 [3:38 PM]: okie dokie but if stacy needs phone then I cant call so lata on boo holla back youngin woooooohoooo
Libragoddess5 [3:38 PM]: do what
Libragoddess5 [3:39 PM]: brent u know how my house works .. anyone at all calls ... then you get off the phone .. u know that ... do what u want .. u will always have a reason why u cant
Libragoddess5 [3:39 PM]: and no I'm tired of this aol shit so when ya want to talk to me its going to have to be something way besides this
Nugggster2003 [3:39 PM]: never........my name is muddd mumumu mudd
Libragoddess5 [3:39 PM]: what the hell are u talking now
Libragoddess5 [3:40 PM]: never what?
Nugggster2003 [3:40 PM]: mumumu mudd
Libragoddess5 [3:40 PM]: k I don't know what that means
Libragoddess5 [3:40 PM]: and I'm not in a joking mood
Libragoddess5 [3:40 PM]: so take that somewere else
Nugggster2003 [3:40 PM]: sowwy ssingin a song
Nugggster2003 [3:40 PM]: okie dokei then ttyl baby mwuah:-*
Libragoddess5 [3:41 PM]: ttml someother way then this computer ... if not then na its not ttml .. and yea okay bull the baby mwuah thing out ya hat .. that still don't make it better
Nugggster2003 [3:41 PM]: later sweetie
Nugggster2003 [3:42 PM]: mwuah
Libragoddess5 [3:42 PM]: goodbye
That's it ...I'm about to get off to let stacy on here. I don't think he will call. He never does. He just seems to want to play games. Anyways. The song the last on he was talking about. The last time we talked on the phone he was singing it. I was upset and crying and I think he trys to make me feel like he don't care by singing b.c then I get mad and hang up, and then he don't have to hear it get my drift. Anyways I told him that he didn't know what he was singing. Since that song is a very hard head banging song. He told me yea he did. Then I was like that song is about relatiionships and love. He said it wasn't... Heres all the lyrics for it...
Tool - Schism
I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering. Fundamental differing.
Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
Disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
We cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication.
I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down
No fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to
Point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication
The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.
There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication.
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers/brothers
I haven't really took the time to set here and up date about my life. I guess b.c things seem to so up and down and nothing stable enough to talk about. Every time I talk about something it changes and its like damn you were just saying something different right before. Like last post, the person I wanted to come see me, didn't. Hes going back to Richmond and so I don't know when or if I will see him again. Brent didn't stop iming me or emailing me after them last convos. He got online a few mins ago and I had a email from him. So stupid shit, I know he only sent it were he could get my attention. All of the convo was just about the same. Brent and I bickering about how this happened. This time though instead of the I don't love you, I'm over you. He says just remember I will always love you. That's what I mean by things keep changing. I really don't think that he gets how upset I get about all this. I think he just says how he feels at the moment. Love isn't just about the moment, its how you feel tomorrow and the next. I've got to the point where I don't even want to talk to him. All this is way too much for me to handle. I haven't heard from Pat at all , and I mean at all in the past week. I guess he stuck up this new girls ass. He seems so fake to me now too. He has always been a good friend, but the way he says what he thinks you wanna hear, then ya find out things are different. That to me seems so fake. I don't know why people do that. I am alittle disappointed that I didn't get to see this someone that I wanted to see. I guess sometimes things just don't go as planned. I think he felt bad about it though b.c he didn't really talk much yesterday. I don't know when the next time I'm going to get a I'm, email, or even a call from him. We talked a lot this weekend, but since he is going back to Richmond I just don't know. I think he had a lot on his mind yesterday too. He seemed to be offish. I also know that old girlfriend was Iming him so I hope he is okay and all. Anyways Jeff seems to be mad too. He asked if I wanted to chill with him, at the time I was trying to go chill with this someone. So I told him I didn't know. He got bitchy about it, and I told him straight up that he couldn't b.c I wasn't with him, and he was fucking angie anyways. He didn't like me saying that even though from his mouth alone, I know its true. Well I just went and figure panted with Autumn. I get back and I have some song lyrics in my email....
POD - Youth Of The Nation
Last day of the rest of my life
I wish I would've known
Cause I didn't kiss my mama goodbye
I didn't tell her that I loved her and how much I care
Or thank my pops for all the talks
And all the wisdom he shared
Unaware, I just did what I always do
Everyday, the same routine
Before I skate off to school
But who knew that this day wasn't like the rest
Instead of taking a test
I took two to the chest
Call me blind, but I didn't see it coming
Everybody was running
But I couldn't hear nothing
Except gun blasts, it happened so fast
I don't really know this kid
Even though I sit by him in class
Maybe this kid was reaching out for love
Or maybe for a moment
He forgot who he was
Or maybe this kid just wanted to be hugged
Whatever it was
I know it's because
[chorus:]
We are, We are, the youth of the nation
Little Suzy, she was only twelve
She was given the world
With every chance to excel
Hang with the boys and hear the stories they tell
She might act kind of proud
But no respect for herself
She finds love in all the wrong places
The same situations
Just different faces
Changed up her pace since her daddy left her
Too bad he never told her
She deserved much better
Johnny boy always played the fool
He broke all the rules
So you would think he was cool
He was never really one of the guys
No matter how hard he tried
Often thought of suicide
It's kind of hard when you ain't got no friends
He put his life to an end
They might remember him then
You cross the line and there's no turning back
Told the world how he felt
With the sound of a gat
[chorus]
Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim
No matter what you say
It don't take away the pain
That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why
It's the blind leading the blind
I guess that's the way the story goes
Will it ever make sense
Somebody's got to know
There's got to be more to life than this
There's got to be more to everything
I thought exists
[chorus]
I don't know what he is trying to say. I'm not really in the mood to think about it ether. I'm so tired of screaming my feeling at to people and them not listening and caring. Right now this song I'm listening to is really toaching so I think I'm put that on here...
P.O.D. - Will You Lyrics
See you sittin? next to
The window in the bedroom
She breaks down (breaks down)
Cryin? over something
And starin? into nothing
Afraid now (hey now)
Wanting, needing, haunting
Its killing me
Thinking what has happened
To live the life like that, man
I break down
It?s fake now
Chorus:
Will you
Will you love me tomorrow?
So will you
Will you stay with me today?
Afraid and out of reasons
To fight the way she?s feeling
She breaks down (breaks down)
Goin? through the motions
And holdin? onto hopes
And a dream now (somehow)
Shaken (shaken), mistaken (mistaken), forsaken (forsaken)
Its killing me
Wishing you can change
But he?s always been the same
If you leave now
I?ll drown
Chorus:
Will you
Will you love me tomorrow?
So will you
Will you stay with me today?
Will you
Will you be here tomorrow?
So will you
You?ll remember yesterday.
Yesterday (4x)
This time I?m sorry
This time I?m sorry
This time, this time
I?m sorry for this time
This time, this time
I?m sorry
This time I?m sorry.
(3x)
Will you
Will you love me tomorrow?
So will you
Will you stay with me today?
Will you
Will you be here tomorrow?
So will you
You?ll remember yesterday?
Well now that I'm thinking about the meaning of that song and what it means to me. I have lost track of what I was saying. So Ill update later
- Mood: touched
- Music:P.O.D - Will You
For some reason I haven't been able to just set here and put my thoughts into words. I guess since I have so many conversations on AOL, I get tired of telling the same people the same thing, so I just stop saying it. So right now, my sister and mom went to go get a movie. I'm freating over this dude that I want to call me before he goes back to Richmond (Yes Yes Yes, there has been so much drama with Brent, that I really haven't had to heart to post about anything else in my life) Lets just say old old friend that has always been there for me to talk to, just seem to show a intreset, he is in Hampton, but is going back to Richmond tomorrow. Past 3 days I've been trying to find a way to see him. If he calls soon, maybe I will be able to, BUT its already getting late so I don't know. Well I think I'm just going to leave all the details out in till some other time. I guess I don't want to type about him really then say too much or then ya know maybe this is nothing and he may just go back to Richmond and we just talk like always. So I'm not getting my hopes up (well I'm trying not to) so right now I don't feel like telling the world about it. Any ways at this moment I'm really feeling this song....
Black Eyed Peas-Where Is The Love
What's wrong with the world, mama
People living' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
N**, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane?
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our own direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids want to act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
- Mood:
anxious
- Music:Black Eyed Peas - Where Is The Love?
I just wanna say real fast with that last post. I dont think that Post deserves a Picture Like I had on it so I want to put the Picture on this Post instead of that one. I think its really pretty.
I just wanna put this on here were I can show the world how much of a child he really is and how many games he plays.
Nugggster2003 [6:42 PM]: hey libra how u doing:-P
Libragoddess5 [6:43 PM]: im okay
Libragoddess5 [6:43 PM]: and u know my name so u can use it
Nugggster2003 [6:43 PM]: ok jenni
Nugggster2003 [6:43 PM]: hey jenni how u doing:-P
Libragoddess5 [6:44 PM]: u jsut got done coloring eggs with autumn .. how are u doing
Nugggster2003 [6:44 PM]: what r u in noke or something?
Libragoddess5 [6:44 PM]: na autumn and stacey is in town
Libragoddess5 [6:44 PM]: u know that
Nugggster2003 [6:44 PM]: duh its Friday. u got there early thoug damn
Nugggster2003 [6:44 PM]: no i dont know that
Libragoddess5 [6:45 PM]: IM NOT IN ROANOKE THATS WHAT I JUST SAID
Nugggster2003 [6:45 PM]: ohh ok no need to yell
Libragoddess5 [6:45 PM]: stacey and autumn is up here ... u knew they were coming up here
Nugggster2003 [6:45 PM]: no i didn't
Nugggster2003 [6:45 PM]: i dont remember that
Libragoddess5 [6:45 PM]: yea u did when we were together .. i told u and ur mother that they were coming up
Nugggster2003 [6:45 PM]: anyways.
Libragoddess5 [6:46 PM]: i dont think u remember anything about me b.c u never cared enough to listen
Nugggster2003 [6:46 PM]: here we go w the i never cared stuff. lets see if its possible to have a normal conversation
Nugggster2003 [6:46 PM]: ;-)
Libragoddess5 [6:47 PM]: its not with u .. it was possible yestarday but u called me all that bullshit and told me THAT I WAS A PIECE OF SHIT AND U WERE OVER ME
Libragoddess5 [6:47 PM]: that u NEVER loved me
Nugggster2003 [6:48 PM]: .............
Libragoddess5 [6:48 PM]: .............
Libragoddess5 [6:50 PM]:
Nugggster2003 [8:26 PM]: I hope you hurt for eternity Nugggster2003 [6:51 PM]: goodbye
Nugggster2003 is away at 6:51 PM
Libragoddess5 [6:52 PM]: now its goodbye cant face the facts and the truths
Auto response from Nugggster2003 [6:52 PM]: And The Wind.... It Cries...... Mary
546-8642
Nugggster2003 returned at 6:52 PM
Libragoddess5 [6:52 PM]: yep hope mary does it for ya and she dont hurt u like u hurt me
Nugggster2003 [6:52 PM]: im trying to see if its possible to actually communicate with you like ure human
Nugggster2003 is away at 6:52 PM
Libragoddess5 [6:53 PM]: im being human brent .. this is a human hurt and fucked over what do u expect
Auto response from Nugggster2003 [6:53 PM]: And The Wind.... It Cries...... Mary
546-8642
Nugggster2003 returned at 6:53 PM
Libragoddess5 [6:53 PM]: i tried to talk to u nice and u treated me like shit
Nugggster2003 [6:54 PM]: cuz u accused me of cheatin
Nugggster2003 is away at 6:54 PM
Nugggster2003 returned at 6:54 PM
Libragoddess5 [6:54 PM]: i stood by u and got treated like shit then too .. its not just b.c i found out u were cheating
Nugggster2003 is away at 6:54 PM
Auto response from Nugggster2003 [6:54 PM]: And The Wind.... It Cries...... Mary
546-8642
Nugggster2003 returned at 6:54 PM
Libragoddess5 [6:54 PM]: all i did was love ... and u fucked me over b.c i did
Nugggster2003 [6:55 PM]: im glad you think i was cheating. shows your sources are wrong
Nugggster2003 [6:55 PM]: ;-)
Nugggster2003 is away at 6:55 PM
Nugggster2003 returned at 6:55 PM
Nugggster2003 is away at 6:55 PM
Nugggster2003 returned at 6:56 PM
Nugggster2003 [6:56 PM]: so i fucked sam, crystal, and who else did you say it was again i forgot?
Libragoddess5 [6:56 PM]: i dont know what to believe .. i just know that u have treated me like nothing and have lied over and over again
Nugggster2003 [6:56 PM]: who else was it jenn
Libragoddess5 [6:56 PM]: do what
Nugggster2003 [6:56 PM]: who did i cheat on u wit?
Libragoddess5 [6:56 PM]: crystal and sam
Nugggster2003 [6:57 PM]: lmfao
Libragoddess5 [6:57 PM]: and u were trying to get with cort is how she be talking
Nugggster2003 [6:57 PM]: first off crystals a virgin
Nugggster2003 [6:57 PM]: nobody has ever fucked her shes catholic
Nugggster2003 [6:57 PM]: she doesn't believe in sex before marriage
Nugggster2003 [6:57 PM]: i cant wait to show her this convo:-)
Nugggster2003 [6:58 PM]: second off sams gonna get a kick outta this too. im sorry sams a sweetheart and all but she just doesn't turn me on like that
Nugggster2003 [6:58 PM]: not my style jenni. you were
Libragoddess5 [6:58 PM]: show it too her brent and i showed the world how u treat me last night when i put that convo of u acting like u did last night on my journal
Nugggster2003 [6:58 PM]: ok
Libragoddess5 [6:59 PM]: i have done NOTHING wrong and i did nothing but love u
Libragoddess5 [6:59 PM]: and u fucked me over
Libragoddess5 [6:59 PM]: u even just amited to me about not talking to that crystal girl anymore
Libragoddess5 [6:59 PM]: ur a joke and im tired of ur lying
Nugggster2003 [7:00 PM]: ure the joke
Nugggster2003 [7:00 PM]: lil miss juggalette
Nugggster2003 [7:00 PM]: =-O
Libragoddess5 [7:00 PM]: how am i the joke brent
Nugggster2003 [7:00 PM]: jokers card booo
Libragoddess5 [7:00 PM]: i got played yea .. jokes on me this time
Nugggster2003 [7:00 PM]: hahahahahah
Nugggster2003 [7:00 PM]: you never got played.
Libragoddess5 [7:00 PM]: really jokes on me b.c i really loved someone that i thought loved me
Libragoddess5 [7:00 PM]: but i was played and used
Nugggster2003 [7:01 PM]: never got played jenni
Nugggster2003 [7:01 PM]: never got played
Nugggster2003 [7:02 PM]: only playing i did wit you was play you in Dr mario, that bass game and a few racing games on my ps2.
Libragoddess5 [7:02 PM]: yea okay brent played = getting lied oto ..trusting someone ... believeing someone ... having faith .. all for them to use u for some pussy and cheat on ya .. yea that's getting played all right
Nugggster2003 [7:02 PM]: if ya wanna get technical
Libragoddess5 [7:03 PM]: jokes really on me this time b.c i trusted u .. to do everythin in my power to show my love .. for u just to walk away
Nugggster2003 [7:04 PM]: there was no joke jenn
Nugggster2003 [7:04 PM]: never was and never will be
Libragoddess5 [7:04 PM]: then all this week i wouldn't of been treated like i have been treated
Nugggster2003 [7:05 PM]: oh yeah now i remember
Nugggster2003 [7:05 PM]: you accused me of cheating on you w amanda. now that was classic
Nugggster2003 [7:05 PM]: that's the best one ive heard soo far
Libragoddess5 [7:05 PM]: the joke was i believe that u loved me ... well look .. u said u didn't and never did love me
Libragoddess5 [7:06 PM]: i didn't say u fucked her i asked then i asked her and then i got it stright ... and she told me how ur trying to make us mad at each other when ur teling her something different
Nugggster2003 [7:06 PM]: i loved you but i sure as hell dont now. ure obviously a little off the dep end sometimes jenn
Nugggster2003 [7:06 PM]: you should try paxil or prozac
Libragoddess5 [7:06 PM]: brent treating me like u do and did ... u are right brent .. u never loved me
Nugggster2003 [7:06 PM]: it can be very helpful
Libragoddess5 [7:06 PM]: ohh im not the one that has been always needing it cant live with out it
Libragoddess5 [7:07 PM]: taking ur parents pills when it gets taken from u
Nugggster2003 [7:07 PM]: i dont take any medications
Libragoddess5 [7:07 PM]: yea okay
Libragoddess5 [7:07 PM]: just like u didn't steal that weed
Nugggster2003 [7:07 PM]: i do take an advil if i gots a headache though
Libragoddess5 [7:08 PM]: play that game brent .. and im the one off the deap end .. yea i treated u that best i could and u fucking used me
Nugggster2003 [7:08 PM]: what the weed that was all soppen wet outside by the trashcans ohhh
Libragoddess5 [7:08 PM]: if that makes me off the deap end and need something to take care of it then it does .. i cant control what u did to me
Nugggster2003 [7:08 PM]: i didn't do anything to you jenn
Nugggster2003 [7:08 PM]: i meerely left you
Libragoddess5 [7:08 PM]: i cant control who i fall for .. i would of tried not to fall in love if i knew u were just going to use me
Nugggster2003 [7:09 PM]: better ssoner than later
Libragoddess5 [7:09 PM]: brent .. u left and then u talked shit .. i havent imed u .. i havent called and u still to this day are still tormenting me
Libragoddess5 [7:09 PM]: do u like hurting me brent .. does it make u feel good
Nugggster2003 [7:09 PM]: im nmot doing anything but having a conversation with you jenni
Libragoddess5 [7:09 PM]: does it make u feel good to know that i cry about this shit .. bit all i did was love u and u act like i was nothing ... just some pussy brent .. just some pussy
Libragoddess5 [7:10 PM]: brent this is not a game to me and these convostations hurt .. they hurt .. u im me acting like u care when u know its just a game and that u dont
Nugggster2003 [7:11 PM]: im just sitting here talking to you like any other human would jenni
Libragoddess5 [7:11 PM]: i really believed and trusted .. and had faith in u brent .. and u lied its just like u promised u wouldn't
Nugggster2003 [7:11 PM]: if you want i will leave you alone so you dont hurt. would that be better
Libragoddess5 [7:11 PM]: it dont stop hurting brent
Libragoddess5 [7:11 PM]: i cant make it stop hurting .. i love someone that dont love me
Libragoddess5 [7:11 PM]: i belived someone that turned they back on me and lied to me
Libragoddess5 [7:12 PM]: i had faith when i struggled to keep it together
Libragoddess5 [7:13 PM]: i did every fucking thing u wanted me to do and it still wasn't good enough
Libragoddess5 [7:13 PM]: u used me and then turned ur back
Nugggster2003 [7:13 PM]: Nugggster2003 [7:11 PM]: when did we have sex?
Nugggster2003 [7:13 PM]:
loserbit309 [7:11 PM]: we didn't
Nugggster2003 [7:14 PM]: told ya
Nugggster2003 [7:14 PM]: hahahahahahhahaha
Libragoddess5 [7:14 PM]: shes not going to tell me the truth brent
Nugggster2003 [7:14 PM]: who feel dumb now
Libragoddess5 [7:14 PM]: just like ur not going to
Nugggster2003 [7:14 PM]: ok
Libragoddess5 [7:15 PM]: i dont feel dumb brent .. i really dont ... i have been used and turned ur back on me
Nugggster2003 [7:15 PM]: you believe amanda but you dont believe sam??
Nugggster2003 [7:16 PM]: u yourself said u couldn't trust amanda and that you know how she is
Libragoddess5 [7:16 PM]: i loved someone and trusted them but all my faith and heart into them and all they did would want pussy
Libragoddess5 [7:16 PM]: put
Libragoddess5 [7:16 PM]: i dont believe any of yall any more ... all ur trying to do is hurt me
Libragoddess5 [7:16 PM]: ur still to this day just trying to hurt me
Nugggster2003 [7:16 PM]: im trying ta set the record straight
Libragoddess5 [7:17 PM]: its not about me and if u ever did or didn't love me .. u could care fucking less if i died tommorow ..its just about brent and if he is a lier or not .. brent i already know u lie to everybody
Nugggster2003 [7:18 PM]: nope ide hate for you to die. would kill me
Nugggster2003 [7:18 PM]: nother person close to me b dead that would blow hardcore
Nugggster2003 [7:18 PM]: especially being i used ta date that person
Libragoddess5 [7:19 PM]: u dont love or care about me so im not close to u brent ... U TURNED UR BACK ON ME ALONG TIME AGO
Nugggster2003 [7:20 PM]: umm ok
Nugggster2003 [7:20 PM]: and im staring down the barrel of a 45
Libragoddess5 [7:20 PM]: i never said i was dieing brent .. but its the point that it dont matter to u
Libragoddess5 [7:20 PM]: why are u talking to me right now .. why do u keep on making me feel like shit .. i mean why are u doing this
Nugggster2003 [7:22 PM]: ok ill ignore you jenni
Nugggster2003 [7:22 PM]: :-\
Libragoddess5 [7:22 PM]: i didn't im u brent u imed me
Libragoddess5 [7:22 PM]: i cant love someone that dont love me anymore ... its hurts too much
Libragoddess5 [7:22 PM]: u never did .. i guess that whats hurt the most .. u never did love me
Nugggster2003 [7:23 PM]: so wtf u want me to do jenni
Nugggster2003 [7:23 PM]: :-\
Libragoddess5 [7:24 PM]: i wanted u too care ... i wanted u to love me like u said u did .. i wanted u to be there when i needed u ... but u werent and none of what i wanted i got
Nugggster2003 [7:26 PM]: yeah. well jenn
Nugggster2003 [7:26 PM]: uhmm
Nugggster2003 [7:27 PM]: i need to focus on work right now, im hella young still and i gots plenty of time ahead for the ladys, just need ta establish muahself right now
Nugggster2003 [7:27 PM]: gots ta set muah goals in life
Libragoddess5 [7:27 PM]: u would be still on ur ass sleeping if i wouldn't ov pushed for u to get a job that's why ur setting there now jobless so dont give me that bullshit
Nugggster2003 [7:28 PM]: whateva
Nugggster2003 [7:28 PM]: ure ass iz jobless
Libragoddess5 [7:28 PM]: is that was all it was then u wouldve been nice then whole damn time .. na u have to treat my ass like shit
Libragoddess5 [7:28 PM]: I GOT A JOB BRENT
Libragoddess5 [7:28 PM]: u dont
Nugggster2003 [7:28 PM]: doin what
Libragoddess5 [7:28 PM]: i work were i have always worked brent
Libragoddess5 [7:28 PM]: i fucking know that
Libragoddess5 [7:29 PM]: that's what i mean by playing games brent .. stop the games
Nugggster2003 [7:29 PM]: lol
Nugggster2003 [7:29 PM]: silly rabbit
Nugggster2003 [7:29 PM]: :-):-(;-)
Nugggster2003 [7:30 PM]: anyways
Nugggster2003 [7:30 PM]: vanilla skiy
Nugggster2003 [7:30 PM]: cough it up
Libragoddess5 [7:30 PM]: fuck u u will it when u cough up my shit
Nugggster2003 [7:30 PM]: nope i will neva fuck you
Nugggster2003 [7:31 PM]: lmfao
Auto response from Libragoddess5 [7:31 PM]: "What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?""What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?" BE RIGHT BACK
Libragoddess5 [7:31 PM]: then u will NEVA get villia sky
Nugggster2003 [7:31 PM]: ohwell
Libragoddess5 [7:31 PM]: okay
Libragoddess5 [7:31 PM]: i can always burn another damn cd with them songs on it and that fleese .. i have 6 of them .. so ya know i dont care its the princible so u dont get ur shit till i get mine
Nugggster2003 [7:32 PM]: fuck all those night u thought u broke my back, well fuck you ya hoe, your shit was whack:-P
Nugggster2003 [7:32 PM]: ;-)
Libragoddess5 [7:32 PM]: im not the cheated brent so u have no right to call me a hoe .. and okay my shit was wack but i did my best and that's all i can do
Libragoddess5 [7:32 PM]: i did everything in my power to make u happy
Nugggster2003 [7:33 PM]: i wasn't talkin bout u boo i was singin this song that on da radio
Libragoddess5 [7:33 PM]: im not ya boo brent
Nugggster2003 [7:33 PM]: remix of dat oder song
Libragoddess5 [7:33 PM]: that word carries meaning and i dont think u know what that means
Nugggster2003 [7:33 PM]: hehehee
Libragoddess5 [7:33 PM]: so u know my name u can use it .. u dont love me nor care about me so im not ur boo
Nugggster2003 [7:33 PM]: we would make the perfect springer episode
Nugggster2003 [7:33 PM]: wanna go
Nugggster2003 [7:34 PM]: that way we both get our 15 minutes of fame
Nugggster2003 [7:34 PM]: :-P
Nugggster2003 [7:34 PM]: jk lmfao
Libragoddess5 [7:34 PM]: only if i can beat the shit out of u ... and na im to emotional tired of cring now
Libragoddess5 [7:34 PM]: brent this is all funny to u .. the jokes over brent .. b.c i cant stop the hurt ...
Nugggster2003 [7:34 PM]: ok cool beat me
Libragoddess5 [7:35 PM]: u got crystal and sam and cort for that
Libragoddess5 [7:35 PM]: ohh and ur baby momma
Nugggster2003 [7:35 PM]: hahaha
Nugggster2003 [7:36 PM]: and the wind cries mary
Libragoddess5 [7:36 PM]: i dont know what that means so okay
Nugggster2003 [7:36 PM]: jimi hendrix
Libragoddess5 [7:36 PM]: dont know who that is
Nugggster2003 [7:37 PM]: its a song by jimi. the wind cries mary
Nugggster2003 [7:37 PM]: u dunno who jimi hendrix is??????=-O but you know who pink floyd is...... whoooooaaaaaaaaa
Nugggster2003 [7:37 PM]: that's amazing
Libragoddess5 [7:37 PM]: u dont get it brent .. i could care less about a quote or all that .... u seem to think all this is funny when im over here hurting like this and just b.c its all funyn to u it makes it hurt even more
Nugggster2003 [7:38 PM]: im not sitting ehre laughing jenni
Nugggster2003 [7:39 PM]: talkin ta myztic
Libragoddess5 [7:40 PM]: do wah
Libragoddess5 [7:40 PM]: what
Nugggster2003 [7:40 PM]: one of ure juggalo buddies
Libragoddess5 [7:40 PM]: not one of my friends i dont know who ur tlakinga bout
Libragoddess5 [7:40 PM]: After all the jacks are in their boxes
and the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness staggering on down the street
footsteps dressed in red
And the wind whispers Mary
Nugggster2003 [7:41 PM]: yaeyyyyyyy
Nugggster2003 [7:41 PM]: jimiiiiiiiiii
Libragoddess5 [7:41 PM]: A broom is drearily sweeping
up the broken pieces of yesterdays life
Somewhere a queen is weeping
Somewhere a king has no wife
And the wind, it cries Mary
Libragoddess5 [7:41 PM]: The traffic lights, they turn, uh, blue tomorrow
and shine their emptiness down on my bed
The tiny island sags down stream
'cause the life that lived is, is dead
And the wind screams Mary
Libragoddess5 [7:41 PM]: Uh-will the wind ever remember
the names it has blow in the past?
And with this crutch, its old age, and its wisdom
it whispers no, this will be the last
And the wind cries Mary
Nugggster2003 [7:42 PM]: man what a pretty song that is
Libragoddess5 [7:42 PM]: yea if u say so
Nugggster2003 [7:42 PM]: have u listened to it???
Libragoddess5 [7:42 PM]: no
Libragoddess5 [7:42 PM]: what friend of mine are u taking to ?
Nugggster2003 [7:43 PM]: a few
Nugggster2003 [7:43 PM]: member all the peeps ya got ta im me before
Libragoddess5 [7:43 PM]: i dont have any friends online
Libragoddess5 [7:43 PM]: so okay go ahead
Nugggster2003 [7:43 PM]: saved the names on buddy lsit under jennys friends
Nugggster2003 [7:44 PM]: theyrell be no shelter here>:o
Libragoddess5 [7:44 PM]: i think all my REAL friends know that im dieing inside right now ... that i cant seem to make u understand how much u are hurting me ... so I think if u were TALKING to them then they anit my true friends
Libragoddess5 [7:45 PM]: u have never been here when i need ya .. so u have never been my shelter .. u would think i would get use to it
Nugggster2003 [7:45 PM]: humms hoobastank:-X
Nugggster2003 [7:45 PM]: the reason
Libragoddess5 [7:46 PM]: wish i was ur reason .. but that was all a LIE too
Nugggster2003 [7:47 PM]: well im sure ya buddy courtney would date ya:-\
Libragoddess5 [7:47 PM]: courtney isnt a buddy or even someone i would date but ohhh how i know ur over there masterbating to that thought
Nugggster2003 [7:47 PM]: lmfao hahahahaha
Libragoddess5 [7:48 PM]: get over ur self brent .. when u wanna talk as adults and not children then im me .. when ya done with the games then maybe u can im me
Nugggster2003 [7:48 PM]: only you jenn ...only you
Nugggster2003 [7:49 PM]: only in america
Libragoddess5 [7:49 PM]: so i think ive made my point .. u tell me when ya wanna talk and when ya grown
Nugggster2003 [7:49 PM]: ok nice knowin ya boo
Nugggster2003 [7:49 PM]: adios
Libragoddess5 [7:49 PM]: intill then leave me alone ... when u wanna be a MAN then u can im me
Libragoddess5 [7:50 PM]: b.c im done with ur childish stupid cold hearted games
Nugggster2003 [7:50 PM]: fuck off
Libragoddess5 [7:50 PM]: yea okay
Nugggster2003 [7:51 PM]: i started the whole convo off by saying hi u started the yellnig and shit i meerely said hi and asked how ya doing but noooo u got all madd so who actin da child
Libragoddess5 [7:52 PM]: im acting like im hurt and that's damn is what i am .. hurt ... im being as grown as i wanna be .. this is all a joke too u .. this is all a game .. and ur cold hearted .. and acting like a boy .. b.c real men dont treat women like this so okay .. i can be all da child u want me too be .. when ya wanna be a real man im me
Libragoddess5 [7:53 PM]: goodbye
Nugggster2003 [7:53 PM]: no comment.
Libragoddess5 [7:53 PM]: goodbye
Nugggster2003 [7:54 PM]: badbye
Libragoddess5 [7:54 PM]: goodbye
Nugggster2003 [7:54 PM]: badbye
Libragoddess5 [7:54 PM]: dont ya get the point . leave me alone ...
Nugggster2003 [7:54 PM]: im not bothering u
Libragoddess5 [7:54 PM]: stop iming me
Nugggster2003 [7:55 PM]: im not
Nugggster2003 [7:55 PM]: ure iming me
Nugggster2003 is away at 7:56 PM
And read this bull shit and tell me who else is a fucking lier.
Dneckbone23 [8:24 PM]: hey
Libragoddess5 [8:24 PM]: hows life
Dneckbone23 [8:25 PM]: aiight I got a job today
Libragoddess5 [8:25 PM]: ohh really
Libragoddess5 [8:25 PM]: that's cool
Dneckbone23 [8:25 PM]: yep
Dneckbone23 [8:37 PM]: pat came over with his new g friend today
Libragoddess5 [8:40 PM]: really the one that's married
Libragoddess5 [8:41 PM]: hes the punk bitch that cant tell me to my face but he wanna be a ass about all that then its okay .. ive been hurt so many times .. it dont really hurt anymore
Dneckbone23 [8:41 PM]: nah this girl has a kid
Dneckbone23 [8:41 PM]: ull b aiight ,,,its ur choice in guys
Libragoddess5 [8:41 PM]: yea I deal with pat or brent or any other fucker that has fucked me over
Libragoddess5 [8:42 PM]: why I didn't get back with pat b.c he fucked me over once and I knew he would do it again
Dneckbone23 [8:42 PM]: cool
Libragoddess5 [8:42 PM]: its not cool derrek
Libragoddess5 [8:43 PM]: he hasnt called in 2 days .. he dont care just like brent dont if I drop off this earth
Libragoddess5 [8:43 PM]: NO ONE FUCKING CARES
Libragoddess5 [8:43 PM]: he dont have the balls to call me and even tell me
Libragoddess5 [8:43 PM]: and u can fucking tell him that
Dneckbone23 [8:43 PM]: its all good girl
Libragoddess5 [8:43 PM]: goodbye
Hes not a bad guy he tells me .. read this shit .. this is what happens every fucking time he gets mad at me .. and u got ot remember I haven't been calling, I haven't been iming him. I have left him alone and this is what he says today... After all the stuff he already said... see he thinks hes really has done something different...he knows how david acted when we broke up .. how he said one thing one min then was mean and hateful the next .. brent knows all this .. and hes just being a punk ass bitch and doing the same thing again. I really dont understand how I cared so much about him. How I gave him everything. This is what I get...
Nugggster2003 [8:13 PM]: :-*
Libragoddess5 [8:13 PM]: what brent
Nugggster2003 [8:13 PM]: :-*
Nugggster2003 [8:13 PM]: :-*
Libragoddess5 [8:13 PM]: okay that dont mean anything to me
Nugggster2003 [8:13 PM]: :-*:-*:-*:-*:-*:-*
Libragoddess5 [8:13 PM]: got something to say then u need to say it
Nugggster2003 [8:13 PM]: :-*es ure ass
Libragoddess5 [8:14 PM]: why are u kissing my ass ?
Nugggster2003 [8:14 PM]: cuz its soft=-O
Libragoddess5 [8:14 PM]: ohh but my ass is the last thing u want remember I can go to hell .. im a fucking piece of shit
Libragoddess5 [8:16 PM]: so why are u trying to be nice now?
Nugggster2003 [8:18 PM]: cuz im not a bad guy n im not a asshole like u b sayin I am. I never fucking cheated on you. never ever ever ever cheated on anybody. and I never will. that's all I have to say. believe what you want but I dunno who told u that they full o shit.
Libragoddess5 [8:20 PM]: brent I can only tell u what kinda dude u are by how u have treated me and u haven't treated me like ur spouse too
Nugggster2003 [8:21 PM]: well I neva cheatd on you or anyone no matter how easy it would have been I am a softie and I too have a heart and I would never do that to anyone. evr
Libragoddess5 [8:21 PM]: if u were a softie then u wouldn't be treating me like u do now
Libragoddess5 [8:24 PM]: this whole week I have dont nothing but say I love u and I have convo after convo of u talking bad to me ... if that's not being a cheating ass whole then I dont know what is
Nugggster2003 [8:24 PM]: then I guess you dont know what cheating really is
Libragoddess5 [8:24 PM]: I was told u were fucking crstal
Libragoddess5 [8:24 PM]: that u messed with sam
Libragoddess5 [8:24 PM]: THAT IS WHAT CHEATING IS
Nugggster2003 [8:24 PM]: I never messed w sam
Libragoddess5 [8:25 PM]: not what im told
Nugggster2003 [8:25 PM]: well corts a fucking liar
Libragoddess5 [8:25 PM]: and see ohh u didn't mess with sam but ohh I did sleep with crystal
Libragoddess5 [8:25 PM]: brent I trusted u
Nugggster2003 [8:25 PM]: never slept w crystal either
Libragoddess5 [8:26 PM]: I really did trust u
Nugggster2003 [8:26 PM]: I think im gunna go fuck amanda now thou
Libragoddess5 [8:26 PM]: and I gave u my heart and all of this hurts cant u understand that
Nugggster2003 [8:26 PM]: I hope you hurt for eternity
Libragoddess5 [8:26 PM]: amanda want fuck you ... I just talked to her
Nugggster2003 [8:26 PM]: u be getting lied to and its supposed to b my fault nope
Nugggster2003 [8:26 PM]: I dun think so
Libragoddess5 [8:27 PM]: I never did anything to hurt like this .. I stoad by u and held ur hand and was there for u and ohh u hope I hurt forever
Nugggster2003 [8:27 PM]: ima get my rocks off as much as I wanna wether u like it er not
Libragoddess5 [8:27 PM]: I did everything I could think of to make u happy
Libragoddess5 [8:27 PM]: u going to what
Nugggster2003 [8:27 PM]: whoever told u is lyin to ure face trying ta make ya hate me and they doing a good job
Libragoddess5 [8:27 PM]: get u some pussy .. just shows that u dont love me like u said
Nugggster2003 [8:27 PM]: I dont love u anymore jenn when will u get it
Libragoddess5 [8:28 PM]: brent I love u ... but look what ur doing .. anyone making me hate u is yourself
Nugggster2003 [8:28 PM]: im over ya
Libragoddess5 [8:28 PM]: yea I know u dont ... I just dont get why u im me blowing kisses and how last night u were saying u did love me
Nugggster2003 [8:28 PM]: well im not the one saying ohhh I cheated I never fucked anyone while I was with you
Libragoddess5 [8:28 PM]: it dont matter brent right ... u dont love me anymore
Libragoddess5 [8:28 PM]: I dont think u ever did
Nugggster2003 [8:28 PM]: courtneys gonna get hers ima ruin her already shitty reputation
Nugggster2003 [8:28 PM]: I did but I dont now.
Nugggster2003 [8:29 PM]: did a good job runnin me off
Nugggster2003 [8:29 PM]: hope ya happy
Libragoddess5 [8:29 PM]: and this kills me for u to say and act like this
Libragoddess5 [8:29 PM]: I didn't run u off brent .. U DIDNT WANNA BE A MAN
Nugggster2003 [8:29 PM]: hope ya go eat cuntneys puussy
Libragoddess5 [8:29 PM]: that's sick
Nugggster2003 [8:29 PM]: well that's what she wants ta do to ya
Libragoddess5 [8:29 PM]: its all good brent u dont love me .. so it shouldn't matter
Libragoddess5 [8:29 PM]: b.c u dont love me
Nugggster2003 [8:30 PM]: and I know she told u I cheated on you she hates me
Nugggster2003 [8:30 PM]: it doesn't matter
Libragoddess5 [8:30 PM]: hows your baby doing brent ... are did ya turn ur back on him/her too
Nugggster2003 [8:30 PM]: but if people are gonna talk shit then theyre gonna get their ass kicked
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: remember that
Libragoddess5 [8:31 PM]: it shouldn't matter .. u dont love me
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: talk shit n ya gunna get dealt with. tell ehr that when u send her this convo like u too always do
Libragoddess5 [8:31 PM]: it just dont matter ... all of this did and will matter to me b.c all I ever did was care and be there for u
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: no I DO NOT LOVE YOU JENN
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: I REPEAT
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: I DONT
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: LOVE
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: YOU
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: SO
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: GET
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: LOST
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: GO RUN
Nugggster2003 [8:31 PM]: ALONG TO
Nugggster2003 [8:32 PM]: THEAT GIRL
Nugggster2003 [8:32 PM]: THAT U
Libragoddess5 [8:32 PM]: just shows how much a little boy u really are and how much of a cheating lier u are
Nugggster2003 [8:32 PM]: SAID HAD
Nugggster2003 [8:32 PM]: NO TEETH
Libragoddess5 [8:32 PM]: yea
Libragoddess5 [8:32 PM]: at least she hasnt lied to me
Libragoddess5 [8:32 PM]: when ya have repeatly over and over lied and HURT me
Nugggster2003 [8:32 PM]: NICE KNOWING YOU
Nugggster2003 [8:32 PM]: SAY GOODBYE
Libragoddess5 [8:32 PM]: im not her friend b.c I dont know her
Libragoddess5 [8:32 PM]: I gave u my heart and u fucking used me for pussy
Nugggster2003 [8:32 PM]: YOULL NEVER SEE ME OR HEAR MY NAME AGAIN
Nugggster2003 [8:33 PM]: ENJOY THE TYPING
Libragoddess5 [8:33 PM]: it was all for the pussy
Nugggster2003 [8:33 PM]: LAST TIME ULL SEE IT
Nugggster2003 [8:33 PM]: NOPE
Nugggster2003 [8:33 PM]: FUCK OFF
Nugggster2003 [8:33 PM]: DAVID DAVID DAVID DAVID
Libragoddess5 [8:33 PM]: u dont love me brent .. so it has to be all for the pussy .. when all I did was love
Libragoddess5 [8:34 PM]: so I was right from the start .. I gave u everything AND U USED ME
Libragoddess5 [8:34 PM]: u lying cheating bastard
Nugggster2003 [8:34 PM]: FUCK YOU
Nugggster2003 [8:34 PM]: GO FUCK PAT AND DERYCK LIKE U ALREADY DID
Nugggster2003 [8:34 PM]: NOT THAT IT MATTERS
Libragoddess5 [8:34 PM]: tell me u love me yestarday ... now its no I dont ... tell me ohh u mean so much to me .. I find out u been fucking this girl so u wanna be a ass and talk shit
Libragoddess5 [8:35 PM]: brent I was always faithfull and I will give u all the screen names in the world of people that know that
Libragoddess5 [8:35 PM]: U USED ME FOR PUSSY
Nugggster2003 [8:35 PM]: IT DOESNT MATTER
Libragoddess5 [8:35 PM]: and im so fuckign sorry I let u fuck me over like this
Libragoddess5 [8:35 PM]: im sorry I feel in love with a CHEATING LIEING JACK ASS
Libragoddess5 [8:35 PM]: no brent it dont matter ... I cant fix how hurt I feel and how u have USED me
Nugggster2003 signed off at 8:35 PM
- Mood: crappy
I was going to write in this journal but as soon as I sign up my IMs start to blow up. So I figure since all this is my life and this is how things are going with me. This is what just happened...
Let me just start with I got on and I had a e-mail for him. It was asking for Amandas #. I said fuck you, if you want her # then get it from her and the rest is here....
Nugggster2003 [5:31 PM]: fuck you. u wanna chill w Courtney dont ask me=-O
Libragoddess5 [5:31 PM]: I haven't gone and seen Courtney I dont know what the fuck u are talking about
Libragoddess5 [5:32 PM]: SEE U DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK U ARE TALKING ABOUT
Nugggster2003 [5:32 PM]: I dont give a shit what you do ..... dont you get it jenn????
Nugggster2003 [5:32 PM]: :-Pduhhh
Libragoddess5 [5:33 PM]: then u wouldn't be iming me
Libragoddess5 [5:33 PM]: dont give a shit then why does all this bother u
Nugggster2003 [5:33 PM]: u im,d me
Libragoddess5 [5:33 PM]: why are u asking for amandas # then
Nugggster2003 [5:33 PM]: doesn't bother.
Libragoddess5 [5:33 PM]: U EMAILED ME U STUPID FUCK
Nugggster2003 [5:33 PM]: cuz ya girl keeps askin me ta fuck her
Nugggster2003 [5:33 PM]: neva got any mail from u
Libragoddess5 [5:34 PM]: if u didn't care u wouldn't be im ing me ... and I know what amanda tells u .. ive already told to go do it .. go fuck her ... ill just stop talking to her too ... b.c friiends dont do that shit
Nugggster2003 [5:34 PM]: friends do what friends do jenni
Nugggster2003 [5:34 PM]: just like people do what ever thye wanna do
Libragoddess5 [5:35 PM]: okay do what the fuck u wanna do ... go fuck her ... hey if I dont talk to her ever again then I know she not a true friend and u really dont love me like u say u do
Libragoddess5 [5:35 PM]: or u wouldn't be trying to hurt me
Nugggster2003 [5:35 PM]: im trying to live
Libragoddess5 [5:37 PM]: tna ur trying to piss me off and make then even harder then it already is .. u dont have to be fucking around with my frineds ... but like is aid she even talks tou like that then she anit much a friend and u dont love me like u say u do
Nugggster2003 [5:38 PM]: love has nothing to do w it jenni poo
Libragoddess5 [5:38 PM]: love has everything to do with it brent
Libragoddess5 [5:38 PM]: EVERYTHING
Nugggster2003 [5:38 PM]: haha lmfao
Libragoddess5 [5:38 PM]: im not doing anything to hurt u ... b.c why b.c I care ... maybe u should try to care
Nugggster2003 [5:41 PM]: good a bye
Libragoddess5 [5:41 PM]: u emailed me brent .. I was leaving u alone
Nugggster2003 [5:42 PM]: uh huh
Libragoddess5 [5:43 PM]: all I have to give is love ... eveyrthing is im tired of .. when u wanna be a man about things then maybe u should call or im me intill then ... im tired of hurting brent ... More then that im tired of YOU hurting me
Nugggster2003 [5:44 PM]: im not doing anything to you im fucking sitting here on the other side of the city doing nothing but typing
Libragoddess5 [5:45 PM]: emotionaly brent u have turned my life upside down .. I dont care if its not physcal u will never understand how I feel when u do this
Nugggster2003 [5:45 PM]: I left you jenn. that's it
Libragoddess5 [5:48 PM]: u said that u feel in love with me .. made planes with me to move together .. then u sleep with me and let me show you a part of me that not a lot of people see .. then u leave .. then after u leave u call me names .. act like im nothing anymore ... act like I could die tommorow and u wouldn't even give a shit .. u start drama with my friends and u try any and every way to be mean .. u have dont a lot more then just leave brent ... u broke me into while u did it
Nugggster2003 [5:49 PM]: no I didn't
Libragoddess5 [5:50 PM]: no u didn't brent .. I have e-mail after e-mail after e-mail of convos were u have treated me like im nothing
Libragoddess5 [5:50 PM]: u want me around when u want me around .. now that u dont have a job and ur getting lonely ... now that that girl that u were fucking might be tired of ur shit ... now ya wanna talk to me .. act like u haven't treated me like this
Libragoddess5 [5:51 PM]: yes brent I love u ... but u have treated me so fucking bad .. like I was worthless .. I dont desirve that ... all iever did was stand by u
Nugggster2003 [5:51 PM]: I never treated you worthless goddamn
Libragoddess5 [5:51 PM]: brent dont even play
Nugggster2003 [5:52 PM]: is not playing. never has never will
Nugggster2003 [5:52 PM]: saya nara
Nugggster2003 [5:52 PM]: adios
Libragoddess5 [5:52 PM]: u fucked wanted nothing to do with me ... treated me like u didn't care if I lived or died
Libragoddess5 [5:52 PM]: that is treated me worthless brent
Nugggster2003 [5:52 PM]: u hounded me n got willy
Libragoddess5 [5:53 PM]: I cried just about every fucking day about u .. maybe still do and U STILL DONT FUCKING CARE
Libragoddess5 [5:53 PM]: I hounded u for what
Nugggster2003 [5:53 PM]: crowded me hella much,
Libragoddess5 [5:53 PM]: u wanted to be a bum brent and not have responsiblitys .. U LEFT ME AT WORK WITHOUT A RIDE HOME
Nugggster2003 [5:53 PM]: was never good enough so ya know what now its good enough cuz muah ass is si si si single ta mi mi mingle
Nugggster2003 [5:53 PM]: ;-)
Libragoddess5 [5:54 PM]: maybe if u wouldve cared enough TO TRY then it wouldve been good enough .. U wanted me aroudn when u didn't wanna sleep .. it dont work like that brent .. ether u do what u promise or u dont promise it .. AND U NEVER KEEP UR PROMISES
Libragoddess5 [5:54 PM]: U LIED TO ME .. CHEATED ON ME
Libragoddess5 [5:54 PM]: I mean damn can u think of any other way of hurting me
Nugggster2003 [5:54 PM]: I cheated on you???????
Libragoddess5 [5:55 PM]: crystal
Libragoddess5 [5:55 PM]: sam
Libragoddess5 [5:55 PM]: Courtney
Nugggster2003 [5:55 PM]: fuck you I NEVER FUCKIN CHEATED ON YOU MOTHERFUCK YOU I NEVER FUCKED HER
Libragoddess5 [5:55 PM]: yes I know about it
Nugggster2003 [5:55 PM]: F U C K YOU
Nugggster2003 [5:55 PM]: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE
Nugggster2003 signed off at 5:55 PM
Libragoddess5 [5:55 PM]: get mad brent im just speaking the truth
Now brent is iming me saying some bull shit like this ....
URE A PIECE OF SHIT JENNI. I NEVER FUCKIN CHEATED ON YOU
NO WONDER DAVID GOT RIDA YA ASS. THE CRAZY PART IS HE GETS MADD RESPECT HE STUCK W URE ASS THAT LONG N PUT UP WIT CHA ASS
I wrote back this ....
let me just say .. u wanna be a man then u can im me and not hide behind blocked screen names and emails .. david didn't get ride of me ... david wouldn't keep a job so me and david broke up .. I think u need to check ur god damn self... Then ya e-mail me again saying im a piece of shit .. Brent the only piece of shit is someone who says and clams they love someones but turns they back on them when they needed them the most .. Yes brent I think u were cheating on me ... Courtney already said that u and sam messed around back then ... U can get mad at me b.c I said u cheated on me .. I have cried every damn night about this over and over again ... Im tired of cring .. Im tired of loving someone THAT DONT LOVE ME ... b.c if u did love me brent u wouldn't be asking for Amandas # .. u wouldn't be treating me like this ... so ya know when ya wanna unblock me then do that ... intill then stop emailing me ...
and I also just send another e-mail stating this ...
and to that david thing .. yea david does get respect b.c he did stick by me and he cared enough to work a lot of things out ... I think when david said he loved me he really meant it .. Im over that a year has went by and I have moved on but david gets a lot more respect then u do b.c he didn't leave every damn time it got rough... then I just wanna tell ya also ... Courtney told me ALL about that child of urs that u haven't been taking care of ... I know a lot more then u think I do
At this moment he is just trying to make me mad... so Im tired of even thinking about it... while all this has been going on ive been talking to a friend ... eric... this is what me and he has been chating about...
Libragoddess5 [5:30 PM]: hey I just tried to call u u little punk
House of krazes signed off at 5:30 PM
House of krazes signed on at 5:31 PM
House of krazes [5:32 PM]: sorry bout that I wuz in the middle of recording a psy mix tape for my pops and I tried callign u back and tha phone was busy
Libragoddess5 [5:36 PM]: ohh
House of krazes [5:37 PM]: what u up to?
Libragoddess5 [5:37 PM]: brent is fucking going to get his face kicked in
Libragoddess5 [5:37 PM]: im so tired of this bullshit
Libragoddess5 [5:37 PM]: mom and me just got into it too
Libragoddess5 [5:38 PM]: im about to go off
House of krazes [5:38 PM]: damn im sorry hun
Libragoddess5 [5:40 PM]: I just dont see how u can be with someone and they tell u over and over they love u after things are fucked up the act like a ass
House of krazes [5:40 PM]: yea that is true
Libragoddess5 [5:41 PM]: and then mom she dont care about anything besides some damn money from my father
Libragoddess5 [5:41 PM]: she dont care if I drop off this earth as long as the check still comes
House of krazes [5:42 PM]: damn wtf????? that's some bullshyt
Libragoddess5 [5:42 PM]: when I got off work I asked her why ... I work ... I come home .. I dont do anything to get into trouble .. why the phone still gets cut off
Libragoddess5 [5:43 PM]: then she was like b.c u live under my roof .. and im like u dont pay for shit for me ... my dad does .. she hasnt paid for cloths for me since ive been working so she has no right to set there and say she does shti for me when she dont
Libragoddess5 [5:44 PM]: then she like move
Libragoddess5 [5:44 PM]: but ohh I can always go to dads but then when I wanna go the checks would stop and she dont want that
House of krazes [5:45 PM]: yomaybe u should probally live better at ya popz ya know fuk what she wants cuz she dont give u wut u want right?
Libragoddess5 [5:46 PM]: its not about what I want really .. its stupid shit she is only worried about her husband and how she feels like ... the phone being cut off at 12 there is no fucking point in it ... my friends know not to call past 9 and they all have been respecting that ... that rule was placed when I was getting in trouble ... NO ONE CARES THAT IVE NOT BEEN IN TROUBLE IN A YEAR
Libragoddess5 [5:48 PM]: .
House of krazes [5:48 PM]: yea for real that is a bunch of bull shyt hell yeah I feel ya you following wut u spose to do and dont ge appreciated for it but when u do somethin to get in trouble that's when they have somethin to say I hate that shyt
Libragoddess5 [5:49 PM]: I would just pack my shit up and leave ... but I worked so hard up here to make a life ... I have friends and a job .. what leave that .. what happens if I go to roanoke and cant find work
House of krazes [5:49 PM]: yea u do have a point
House of krazes [5:52 PM]: im thinkin bout movin to hampton shortly
Libragoddess5 [5:54 PM]: why
House of krazes [5:56 PM]: cuz its where most of my homiez are and closer to concerts and shyt
Libragoddess5 [5:56 PM]: yea
Libragoddess5 [5:56 PM]: u didn't come see me at work today lmao
House of krazes [5:57 PM]: shyt lol I didn't wake up till 4:40
Libragoddess5 [5:57 PM]: lol
House of krazes [5:57 PM]: I got woken up to m cell phone ringing
Libragoddess5 [5:58 PM]: lol
Libragoddess5 [5:58 PM]: can u forward a e-mail for me ?
House of krazes [5:59 PM]: yea
Libragoddess5 [6:02 PM]: at the end of the letter there is a sn can u forward that e-mail too him
House of krazes [6:02 PM]: yea
Libragoddess5 [6:04 PM]: did ya forward it
Libragoddess5 [6:05 PM]: can u add something too it
House of krazes [6:05 PM]: yea I can do that
House of krazes [6:07 PM]: what u want me to add?
Libragoddess5 [6:07 PM]: I just sent another e-mail just forward that too
House of krazes [6:07 PM]: k
Libragoddess5 [6:08 PM]: thank you a lot
House of krazes [6:08 PM]: no problem
House of krazes [6:09 PM]: I gotta go finish making this tape for my popz u can call me if u like but I cant be at tha computer cuz these are mixed cds
Libragoddess5 [6:09 PM]: k ill call in a bit
House of krazes [6:10 PM]: ok that's cool
Libragoddess5 [6:10 PM]: I got to get off the computer anyways befor brent makes me go insane
House of krazes [6:10 PM]: tal kto ya in a lil bit mmfcl
Libragoddess5 [6:10 PM]: mmfcl
So there it is a lot of fucking reading to do. This is what is going on in my life right now. This is how I guess everything works. Im so tired of all this emotion stress and pain. Sometimes I wish I could just drop off the face of the earth.
- Mood:
annoyed
I'm just setting here. I promised my self that I wouldn't cry about Brent anymore. Here I am. Crying. The days with out him haven't been all bad. The stress and the Drama has stooped a lot with out him being around. It just kills me for him to say that he is happier with out me. I don't miss him all the time. I don't seem to let all this get too me. Truthfully I take my extra time and call them old friends of mine that I haven't talked to in awhile. Like Ken, I talked to him last night. When I set by my self, the things I remember the most about me and Brent would be nights like him setting out side in the truck with me. Saying how he feels and how he loves me, how he cares so much. When we chilled in his room and I told him about all my worries about stresses. Then today he goes, I don't talk to you b.c you life is so much more easyer and stress free now. I didn't know by telling someone ur fears and ur worries that that meant it would push them away. I just don't get Brent one min he acts like he cares and yea when your right beside them and they telling you this its so hard not to believe it. I can say right now I don't know how he feels. I have left him alone and haven't called b.c it seems like that's what he wants. Then it kills me, kills me, to hear Amanda say he was hitting on her. I don't know how to make my self feel better. How to be that person that everyone wants me to be. I cant make everyone happy, but that don't me I don't want too. The hardest thing to do. Is set here on this computer, to have this mirror right there beside it and as much as I don't look to the left, I still see me. I still see myself crying. My soul reaching out for someone and no one being there. I think that's just about my life story. I'm setting here listening to a song that is playing on this web site. It use to play all the time but I haven't heard it in awhile. I cant figure out the name for it but once the dude get back online I'm going to ask him then add the lyrics here.
- Mood: depressed
- Music:Some Song
I know that I have posted enough today but I wanted to share this image I just found... Oh it just touches me.. Looks like see is dreaming of something... ya know ... (I Anna say that all the Fairy Images that I have put up here I feel are very good art...I seem to like the mystical ones and after shorting through images that are only okay these in all the posts are the ones that I really like
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libragoddess86- ~*~Jen~*~
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